Johnlock Comes A-Wassailing
by ChrisCalledMeSweetie
Summary: Sing along to all of your holiday favorites, with a Johnlock twist. From "Jolly Johnlock Christmas" to "Sherlock Holmes is Getting High" and from "All I Want for Christmas is Some Bones and Teeth" to "God Shag Ye Merry Gentlemen" - there's something here for everyone. Even the Grinch. ;)
1. Jolly Johnlock Christmas

**Jolly Johnlock Christmas**

Have a jolly Johnlock Christmas  
It's the best time of the year  
I don't know about the show  
But in my mind they're queer

Have a jolly Johnlock Christmas  
As you picture their first kiss  
Make some noise for those two boys  
Discovering their bliss

Oh-ho the mistletoe  
In 2-2-1-B  
Mrs. Hudson hung it there  
For John and Sherlock to see

Have a jolly Johnlock Christmas  
And in case you didn't hear  
Even Molly knows by golly  
John and Sherlock are queer!

 **End Notes:** I plan to post a new song every day from now until Christmas. They'll run the gamut from the ridiculous to the sublime to the explicit. If you have any holiday favorites you'd like me to include, let me know, and I'll se what I can come up with.


	2. Tingle Gels

**Tingle Gels**

 _Sing this to the tune of "Jingle Bells."_

Dashing to the shops  
Some tingle lube to buy  
John doesn't care who tops  
No, he is not shy

Bells on the shop door ring  
John browses with delight  
Oh what fun it'll be to use  
The tingle lube tonight

Oh, tingle gels, tingle gels  
Tingle all the way  
Oh what fun it is to use  
This tingle lube for play

Tingle gels, tingle gels  
Tingle all the way  
John is really glad that Sherlock  
Turned out to be gay

 **End Notes:** _I hate mosquitos_ requested a Johnlock version of "Jingle Bells" and here it is. If you have a request for my next song, leave me a review and I'll see if I can come up with something. :)


	3. Sherlock, the Great Detective

**Sherlock, the Great Detective**

 _Sing this to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."_

Sherlock, the great detective  
Had a very special brain  
And if you ever met him  
You might think he was insane

All of the Scotland Yarders  
Used to laugh and call him Freak  
They never let poor Sherlock  
Even have a chance to speak

Then one foggy Christmas Eve  
John Watson came to say  
"Sherlock, with your brain so smart,  
Can't you see you've won my heart?"

Then how John Watson loved him  
As he shouted out with glee  
"Sherlock, you great detective,  
You're the perfect man for me!"

 **End Notes:** _I hate mosquitos_ prompted my last two songs. If you have a suggestion for the next one, let me know. :)


	4. Silver Rings

**Silver Rings**

 _Sing this to the tune of "Silver Bells."_

Sherlock's dressed up  
Hair still messed up  
From a holiday snog  
In the air there's a feeling  
Of Christmas

John is waiting  
And debating  
If today is the day  
When at last he'll ask  
For Sherlock's hand

Silver rings, silver rings,  
It's Christmas time in the city  
Is it time for bells to chime  
Over their own wedding day?

John's proposing  
He's exposing  
All the love that he feels  
He bought Sherlock a ring  
For this Christmas

Sherlock's crying  
And he's trying  
To choke out the word "Yes"  
And now there in two boxes  
We see

Silver rings, silver rings,  
It's Christmas time in the city  
Sherlock sings, John has wings  
Soon it'll be their wedding day

 **End Notes:** Reviews make me smile.


	5. You're a Mean One, Sherlock Holmes

**You're a Mean One, Sherlock Holmes**

 **Note:** The words in _italics_ are to be read by the narrator. The words in regular type are sung by the various characters to the tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch."

 _Everyone at the party liked Christmas a lot  
But Sherlock, whose flat they were in, he did not  
Sherlock hated Christmas — the whole Christmas season  
Now please don't ask why — no one quite knows the reason  
It could be his hat wasn't screwed on just right  
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight  
But I think that the most likely reason of all  
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small_

 _Molly's verse_ :  
You're a mean one, Sherlock Holmes  
You have a nasty streak  
You always say such horrid things  
Every time you speak, Sherlock Holmes  
It's time that I stood up to you  
Why should I be meek?

 _Lestrade's verse:_  
You're a bastard, Sherlock Holmes  
You don't respect the law  
You do just what you damn well please  
I ought to punch your jaw, Sherlock Holmes  
You think you're better than everyone else  
Well that is your flaw!

 _Mycroft's verse:_  
You're so puerile, Sherlock Holmes  
You're like a spoiled child  
You avoid responsibility  
Your nonsense drives me wild, Sherlock Holmes  
The honor of our family  
By you is defiled!

 _Mrs. Hudson's verse:  
_ I'm your landlady, Sherlock Holmes  
Your housekeeper I am not  
It's not my job to bring you tea  
I don't want my walls shot, Sherlock Holmes  
You promised no heads in the fridge  
And then you forgot!

 _John's verse:_  
You're my best friend, Sherlock Holmes  
Even when you are a prat  
I love everything about you  
From your shoes up to your hat, Sherlock Holmes  
I even love _you_ , oh yes, I do  
So how d'you like that?

 _Well, when Sherlock heard what John had to say  
His very small heart grew **three** sizes that day  
And when Sherlock's heart did not feel so tight  
He grabbed John and hugged him, with all of his might  
Then he hugged Mrs. Hudson and Molly and Lestrade  
He even hugged Mycroft, although it seems odd  
He bade them farewell, and when they were gone  
He cuddled up close with his one true love, John_

 **End Notes:** This one was written by request for sweetmarly. If you have a particular holiday favorite that you'd like me to twist next, let me know. :)


	6. Mycroft the Ice Man

**Mycroft the Ice Man**

 _Sing this to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman."_

Mycroft, the Ice Man  
Was as cold as he could be  
With umbrella acute  
And his bespoke suit  
He was buttoned up, you see

Greg, the Inspector  
Well he knew just what to do  
He would find a way  
To turn Mycroft gay  
And to leave his clothes askew

There must have been some magic in  
That condom box he found  
For when he placed one on his cock  
The Ice Man came around

Oh, Mystrade the couple  
Were as hot as they could be  
And the shippers said  
They must go to bed  
And should have a shagging spree

Humpity hump hump  
Humpity hump hump  
Look at Mystrade go  
Humpity hump hump  
Humpity hump hump  
They put on quite a show

Sherlock the Virgin  
Was untouchable you see  
He was made of stone  
And it was well known  
That was how he liked to be

John, the good Doctor  
He knew how to play his part  
He let Sherlock know  
It was safe to let go  
And reveal his tender heart

There must have been some magic in  
That condom box he found  
For when he placed one on his cock  
The Virgin came around

Oh, Johnlock the couple  
Were as hot as they could be  
And the shippers said  
They must go to bed  
And should have a shagging spree

Humpity hump hump  
Humpity hump hump  
Look at Johnlock go  
Humpity hump hump  
Humpity hump hump  
They put on quite a show

 **End Notes:** Reviews and favorites melt my heart. :)


	7. Sherlock Holmes is Getting High

**Sherlock Holmes is Getting High**

 _Sing this to the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High."_

Sherlock Holmes is getting high  
Though he is not doing drugs  
No, his sweet contented sigh  
Is caused by John Watson's hugs  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together

John gives him a gentle kiss  
Then he deepens it a bit  
Sherlock sighs again in bliss  
At the perfect feel of it  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together

Sherlock sits upon the bed  
As John slides his trousers down  
John gives him amazing head  
From the root up to the crown  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together

Then John slips a finger in  
Sherlock's hole, so tight and hot  
Sherlock's head begins to spin  
The sensation's quite a lot  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together

"Breathe, my love, I've got you now"  
John soothes Sherlock, warm and soft  
Finds his prostate, presses — wow —  
Sherlock bucks his hips aloft  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together

Finally John slips his cock  
Where it's always meant to be  
Deep inside his dear Sherlock  
Joined now for eternity  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together  
Glo-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-O-ri-a  
They are now together

 **...**

 **End Notes:**

Re-e-e-e-e-E-e-e-e-e-E-e-e-e-e-E-e-views  
Write me some reviews, please  
And Fa-a-a-a-A-a-a-a-a-A-a-a-a-a-A-vor-ites  
Add me to your fa-vor-ites :)


	8. Seven Days of Ugly Christmas Apparel

**Seven Days of Ugly Christmas Apparel**

 _This one is sung by Sherlock to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas."_

On the first day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
A jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the third day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the fourth day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Four candy cane scarves  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the fifth day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Five gaudy rings  
Four candy cane scarves  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the sixth day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Six bells a-jingling  
Five gaudy rings  
Four candy cane scarves  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the seventh day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
A blow job to make up for the ridiculous crap I've been wearing all week

It was worth it.

 **End Notes:** Feel free to make up your own verses for the rest of the 12 days… ;)

If there are any artists out there who would be willing to illustrate this, I'd be forever in your debt.


	9. Sherlock Baby

**Sherlock Baby**

 _This one is sung by John to the tune of "Santa Baby."_

Sherlock, Baby  
Just clean up that experiment now  
Oh wow  
You're an awful bad boy  
Sherlock, Baby  
Please let's not blow the flat up tonight

Sherlock, Baby  
Put those human body parts away  
I say  
And that virus culture  
Sherlock, Baby  
Please let's not spread diseases tonight

Think of all the chances we've missed  
Think of all the times that we almost kissed  
Even though you're a bit not good  
You still top my Christmas list

Sherlock, Baby  
We shouldn't break and enter this place  
For a case  
It's a bit illegal  
Sherlock, Baby  
Please let's not get arrested tonight

Sherlock, Baby  
One little thing that I really want  
Don't taunt  
When we're back at the flat  
Sherlock, Baby  
Please let the mistletoe work tonight

Sherlock, Cutie  
Are you blushing at the thought of  
My love?  
Just a little kiss, now  
Sherlock, Cutie  
Please let me feel your soft lips tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree  
We can make our own chemistry  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me

Sherlock, Baby  
I'd really like to go all the way  
Today  
I don't mean to the moon  
Sherlock, Baby  
Please come up to my bedroom tonight

Hurry to my bedroom tonight

 _Please come tonight_

 **End Notes:** This one was written by request for Mrs. Erik Massenet, whose name for some reason will NOT show up unless I type it like that instead of like her actual username.


	10. The Little Bummer Boy

**The Little Bummer Boy**

 _This one is sung by Sherlock to the tune of "The Little Drummer Boy."_

"Come," John tells me  
 _As he fucks my bum_  
"Another climax to see"  
 _As he fucks my bum_

His finest skills he'll bring  
 _As he fucks my bum_  
My orgasm's coiling  
 _As he fucks my bum  
He fucks my bum  
He fucks my bum  
_  
So, to honor him  
 _As he fucks my bum_  
I will come

John keeps going  
 _As he fucks my bum_  
He is not slowing  
 _As he fucks my bum_

I feel it build again  
 _As he fucks my bum_  
Soon I am coming then  
 _As he fucks my bum  
He fucks my bum  
He fucks my bum  
_  
And now one more time  
 _As he fucks my bum  
_ I will come

"Sherlock," John says now  
 _As he fucks my bum  
_ "I love your arse, oh, wow"  
 _As he fucks my bum  
_  
He draws it out some more  
 _As he fucks my bum  
_ Though I am getting sore  
 _As he fucks my bum  
He fucks my bum  
He fucks my bum_

And now one last time  
 _As he fucks my bum  
_ I will come

…

 **End Notes:**

Come, I tell you  
Pa rum pa pum pum  
Make this a favorite, do  
Pa rum pa pum pum

And if you write a review  
Pa rum pa pum pum  
I will be thanking you  
Pa rum pa pum pum  
Rum pa pum pum  
Rum pa pum pum

Then go sing this song  
Pa rum pa pum pum  
Or maybe just hum…


	11. Heav'n on Earth

**Heav'n on Earth**

 _ **Notes:**_ _Have you seen "Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy" performed by David Bowie and Bing Crosby? No? Go look it up on youtube right now. I'll wait.  
_ _Okay, and you've already read "The Little Bummer Boy," right? Seriously? Go do that, too…  
_ _Alright, now that you're properly prepared (because proper preparation is the key to making an experience pleasurable rather than painful) I present "Heav'n on Earth."  
_ _This one is sung by John, in counterpoint to Sherlock's "The Little Bummer Boy."  
_ _Enjoy! ;)_

Heav'n on earth  
This must be  
Years from now  
Sherlock will see  
That this night of glory  
That this night  
When I fucked him raw  
Was the best  
Yes, the best of times  
Heav'n on earth  
This must be

Every time that I make him come  
As I pound hard into his bum  
Sherlock cries out and begs for more  
God, he is the man I adore

I pray my wish  
Will come true  
For Sherlock  
And for me, too  
We'll see the edge of glory  
Right to the edge  
'Til I tip him o'er  
And he comes  
Yes, he comes again  
Heav'n on earth  
This must be  
This must be

 **End Notes:  
** _I pray my wish  
_ _Will come true  
_ _For some lovely  
_ _Reviews from you_


	12. God Shag Ye Merry, Gentlemen

**God Shag Ye Merry, Gentlemen**

God shag ye merry, gentlemen  
Let nothing you dismay  
Remember no one else can tell  
With whom you ought to lay  
Our John and Sherlock, yes we know  
That you are bi and gay  
O tidings of boy upon boy  
Boy upon boy  
O tidings of boy upon boy

From Moftiss our fathers  
The blessed pilot came  
And unto certain shippers  
Brought tidings of the same  
That finally we'd see the love  
That dared not speak its name  
O tidings of boy upon boy  
Boy upon boy  
O tidings of boy upon boy

And now our Sherlock and his John  
Forever they will be  
Immortalized for all to watch  
Upon the BBC  
As they give in and finally have  
Their awesome shagging spree  
O tidings of boy upon boy  
Boy upon boy  
O tidings of boy upon boy

 **End Notes:** If you have a favorite holiday melody you'd like me to besmirch, let me know. ;)


	13. All I Want for Christmas

**All I Want for Christmas is Some Bones and Teeth**

 _This one is sung by Sherlock to the tune of "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth."_

All I want for Christmas  
Is some bones and teeth  
That were found beneath  
The mud on Hampstead Heath  
All I want for Christmas  
Is some bones and teeth  
So I could have a case for Christmas

All I want for Christmas  
Is to not be bored  
Nothing too untoward —  
Maybe a criminal horde  
All I want for Christmas  
Is to not be bored  
I just want a case for Christmas

All I want for Christmas  
Is a seven or eight  
Although at this rate  
Even a six would be great  
All I want for Christmas  
Is a seven or eight  
God, I need a case for Christmas

But wait — on this Christmas  
John comes to my room  
Makes my blood go _zoom_  
And my heart go _boom_  
Oh, yes, on this Christmas  
John comes to my room  
Now I don't need a case for Christmas!

 **End Notes:** All I want for Christmas is some reviews from you. :)


	14. Mycroft Got Run Over by a Reindeer

**Mycroft Got Run Over by a Reindeer**

 _This one is sung by John to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."_

Mycroft got run over by a reindeer  
Walking home from our flat Christmas Eve  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa  
But as for me and Sherlock, we believe

He'd been drinking too much egg nog  
And we begged for him to go  
Greg Lestrade departed with him  
And the two of them set off into the snow

When they found him Christmas morning  
At the scene of the attack  
He had hoof prints on his hip bones  
And incriminating Claus marks on his back

Mycroft got run over by a reindeer  
Walking home from our flat Christmas Eve  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa  
But as for me and Sherlock, we believe

We're so proud of Greg Lestrade now  
He's been taking this so well  
Though he must have seen the carnage  
He just smiles and says that he will never tell

But it must have been a reindeer  
There's nothing else it could have been  
To leave Mycroft looking ravaged  
And Greg wearing that big shit-eating grin

Mycroft got run over by a reindeer  
Walking home from our flat Christmas Eve  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa  
But as for me and Sherlock, we believe

 **End Notes:** For those of you who aren't familiar with the original, you might want to keep it that way. ;)


	15. Good Inspector Greg Lestrade

**Good Inspector Greg Lestrade**

 _Sing this to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas."_

Good Inspector Greg Lestrade  
Went to 2-2-1-B  
There he saw something quite odd  
That he couldn't un-see

Brightly shone the moon that night  
Though the frost was cruel  
When John Watson came in sight  
Giggling like a foo-oo-ool

"Sherlock's flesh is now all mine,"  
John proclaimed quite boldly  
"And his arse is mighty fine —  
Just tight enough to hold me"

"Put some clothes on my good men!"  
Greg implored them loudly  
"Nope — we're going to shag again,"  
Sherlock told him prou-oud-ly

Greg wished he could bleach his eyes  
Of that sight imprinted  
It shouldn't've been a surprise  
After all they'd hinted

But to see it in his face  
Well, with that he struggled  
So he turned and fled the place  
Where John and Sherlock snu-ug-gled

"Well now that Lestrade is gone  
I would like to fuck you,"  
So said Sherlock unto John  
And he was in luck, too

"Come and take me," John replied  
"Fuck me if you're able"  
Sherlock growled and Sherlock sighed  
And bent him o'er the ta-a-ble

The moral of this story is  
(If you're looking for one)  
Sherlock's John's and John is his  
And they're having more fun

So if you're on Baker Street  
And you hear Greg bitchin'  
If you cannot stand the heat  
Stay out of their ki-it-chen

...

 **End Notes:**

I love writing Johnlock songs  
As I'm sure you've noticed  
I hope that you will sing along  
From the highest to the lowest

So, good readers, please be kind  
Leave some reviews for me  
Comments, too, if you don't mind  
Will bring even more glee

:D


	16. The First 'O' Yell

**The First 'O' Yell**

 _Sing this to the tune of "The First Noel."_

The first 'O' yell  
That Sherlock did say  
Was caused by John Watson  
On Christmas day

On Christmas day  
Sherlock felt he might weep  
As John stroked him with  
Three fingers deep

'O' yell, 'O' yell  
'O' yell, 'O' yell  
His orgasm hit him  
Just like a bombshell

He look-ed down  
And saw John's mouth  
Tonguing over his bollocks  
Then heading south

And to his arse  
It gave a great lick  
And so it continued  
Both wet and quick

'O' yell, 'O' yell  
'O' yell, 'O' yell  
His orgasm hit him  
Just like a bombshell

Then entered in  
John's prodigious cock  
As he drove it in swiftly  
To fuck Sherlock

And to his prostate  
John gave a great shove  
As a way of showing  
His undying love

'O' yell, 'O' yell  
'O' yell, 'O' yell  
His orgasm hit him  
Just like a bombshell

 **End Notes:** So many Christmas carols, so little sense of propriety…


	17. I Saw Sherlock Kissing Santa Claus

**I Saw Sherlock Kissing Santa Claus**

 _Sing this to the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."_

I saw Sherlock kissing Santa Claus  
Underneath the mistletoe last night  
He wasn't dressed in red  
No hat upon his head  
He wore a military soldier's  
Uniform instead

But I know it was truly Santa Claus  
Sherlock had his lips locked with last night  
He had a bag of toys  
Designed for naughty boys  
When Sherlock got a look at them  
He let out quite a noise

Then I saw Sherlock play with Santa Claus  
Taking all those toys out of that bag  
Two vibrating cock rings  
Silk lingerie that clings  
Some handcuffs and some nipple clamps  
And lots of other things

Then I saw Sherlock shagging Santa Claus  
Right there in the sitting room last night  
It's a good thing, you'll agree  
Mrs. Hudson didn't see  
Sherlock shagging Santa Claus last night

 **End Notes:** Guess what I want for Christmas? Reviews from you. :)


	18. I'm Dreaming of a Murdery Christmas

**I'm Dreaming of a Murdery Christmas**

 _Sung by Sherlock to the tune of "White Christmas."_

I'm dreaming of a murdery Christmas  
Just like the ones I used to know  
Analysing hemolysin  
While John would listen  
Admiringly as I put on a show

I'm dreaming of a murdery Christmas  
One full of mayhem, death, and crime  
But now John says, "Clean up that slime  
'Cause we're going to a pantomime"

I'm dreaming of a murdery Christmas  
Not dressing up and going out  
To hear idiots singing  
And church bells ringing  
I'd rather stay at home and pout

I'm dreaming of a murdery Christmas  
And just like that, my wish comes true  
John gives me a cold case and a clue  
And now I have something fun to do

I've had a lovely murdery Christmas  
Because of John's most thoughtful gift  
I enjoyed the solving  
Of that case involving  
A cleverly murderous facelift

Now I've had enough of murder this Christmas  
There's something else I want instead  
There's a merry Christmas ahead  
'Cause now I am taking John to bed

 **End Notes:** May your day be merry and bright, without any murderers in sight. Merry Christmas! :D


	19. Sherlock It's Cold Outside

**Sherlock, It's Cold Outside**

 _A duet between Sherlock and John, to the tune of "Baby It's Cold Outside."_

Let's go to the park — Sherlock, it's cold outside  
Before it gets dark — Sherlock, it's cold outside  
We could have a shag — In the snow? That'd be a drag  
It would be nice — I don't want my balls to turn to ice

Well, what if we bring a blanket? — Bring your arse here, I'm gonna spank it  
We could do that outside if you want — Why are you so damn nonchalant?  
I really don't care if it's chilly — Now you are just being silly  
Well, maybe just go out on the roof — Sherlock, I am not weatherproof

The neighbors could watch — Sherlock, it's cold out there  
As I was grabbing your crotch — Sherlock, it's cold out there  
We'd be on display — How 'bout on a warmer day?  
They all could see — I know what an exhibitionist you can be

I know you've said no, no, no sir — But still you keep getting closer  
You know how that fresh air makes me feel — It sure gives your libido some zeal  
I'm here at the door — Sherlock, don't go out  
Ah, but it's cold outside

We simply must try — Sherlock, it' cold outside  
The snow makes me high — Sherlock, it's cold outside  
I want to so bad — Hypothermia would be sad  
You are so hot — But the outdoor temperature is not

The neighbors would all be staring — At the coats we'd be wearing  
We could strip down to give them a show — Can't you understand, I said "No"  
They'd see how fit you've been getting — But it's cold out, are you forgetting?  
I want to show you off to them all — I swear you're going to be my downfall

We'd be warm enough — Sherlock we'd freeze out there  
I'd let you fuck me so rough — Get down on your knees out there?  
Whatever you need — Can I tie you up and make you plead?  
I'll beg you twice — Oh, god, you're starting to entice

There's bound to be talk tomorrow — If there wasn't, you'd feel some sorrow  
About the way you're hung like a horse — Rumours started by you, of course  
You know that you want to — God help me, yes I do  
Ah, but it's cold outside  
Fuck, baby, it's cold outside

 **End Notes:** You know what warms me up on these cold nights? Your reviews. :)


	20. Eyeballs Roasting on an Open Fire

**Eyeballs Roasting on an Open Fire**

 _Sing this to the tune of "The Christmas Song."_

Eyeballs roasting on an open fire  
Then falling down in Sherlock's tea  
After some talk about a garroting wire  
John puts his hand on Sherlock's knee

Everyone can see  
The two of them are quite a pair  
Perfect, each in his own way  
Carding his fingers through Sherlock's soft hair  
John says what he always meant to say

He says that Sherlock is the one  
Who brings excitement, danger, mystery, and fun  
And every day from now until the end  
He wants to spend with his very best friend

And so he's offering this simple vow  
To Sherlock, for all that they've been through  
"No matter what comes, anyway, anyhow  
I will always love you"

 **End Notes:** As always, your reviews make me smile. :)


	21. We Wish for a Johnlock Kiss Scene

**We Wish for a Johnlock Kiss Scene**

 _Sing this to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."_

We wish for a Johnlock kiss scene  
We wish for a Johnlock kiss scene  
We wish for a Johnlock kiss scene  
On this happy New Year

Good tidings we pray  
Upon New Year's Day  
Good tidings for Johnlock  
And a happy New Year

Now give us some Johnlock shagging  
Now give us some Johnlock shagging  
Now give us some Johnlock shagging  
And make it quite queer

We'll keep begging 'til we get some  
We'll keep begging 'til we get some  
We'll keep begging 'til we get some  
And then we will cheer

We all want canon Johnlock  
We all want canon Johnlock  
We all want canon Johnlock  
To be crystal clear

Good tidings we pray  
Upon New Year's Day  
Good tidings for Johnlock  
And a happy New Year

 **End Notes:** Well, that's the end of this series — for now, at least. I wish you all the happiest of holidays. **:D**


	22. Another Auld Lang Syne

**Another Auld Lang Syne**

Should old Mrs. Hudson be forgot  
Down in 2-2-1 A  
She'll have to put her earplugs in  
When John and Sherlock play

For they are very loud, my dear  
Whene'er they start to fuck  
Without her herbal soothers, then  
Mrs. Hudson's out of luck

 **End Note:** Happy Johnlock New Year! :D


End file.
